Who was I when I committed my crime? Who am I now?
The person I was when I committed my crime was lost and wore many masks. I was full of pain, shame, guilt, anger, and resentment. I was reckless, cruel, selfish, and callous. I intimidated many people and terrorized my community with violence. All I cared for was my self image, my status, and reputation. I wanted my reputation at all cost, as it was the beleif I valued. I didn’t care about nor value the lives of Louis and Ricky when I attempted to murder them on October 30, 2014, nor the lives of Jose, Jessica, Mr. Garson, the Lopez family, and the entire community of Huntington Park, that I put in danger. I took away their sense of security, filling their lives with fear stress and anxiety.
Today I understand the impact of my actions, and it helped me and my change. I no longer wear a mask nor same or try to be a person I am not. I am no longer a gang member and I no longer use drugs I no longer engage in criminal nor use violence. I no longer go by a gang name and I’ve changed my way of thinking.
I am Eric and I have self control, empathy, compassion, and remorse. The person I am today lives to help others, to honor everyone I’ve ever hurt. To ensure going forward I won’t hurt anybody, I have corrected my way of thinking, my behavior, my actions, and my lifestyle. I have identified the roots to my core issues, like shame, pain, and anger. I had and have been trying to heal it through forgiving myself and others. I am now move forward by living a life free of violence, substance, and criminality, I will help others and be of service to amend my past.