"Who were you at the time of your life crime, and who are you today?"
Is what I will be writing about today!
Well, compared to who I was then, and who I am now, is different. Now, I am a changed person. Don’t really want to talk much about who I am now, I will be writing about who I used to be then, first! Growing up in Los Angeles county around 11 years old was difficult. Didn’t really have my dad in my life and my mom had to work two jobs every day to keep a roof over my head, I felt alone. I was always sad because I didn’t really have anyone there for me, anyone to listen to me. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd at 12 years old. I joined a gang, I started using drugs, I got brainwashed by the streets and in the gang that I gotta be a gangster, shoot people, rob people, and hurt people. I used to see them do it, so I thought it was alright. I was lost, confused, under the influence of drugs, I was blind. I didn’t know I could be better than all that. I didn’t believe in myself like I do now. I was so negative, all I wanted to do was: be the baddest person.
Coming to prison changed my whole mindset, I started to realize that what I was doing was wrong. I started sobering up, things really started getting clear to me; I need to help make the world a better place, and that I need to stop this gang banging mentality. So, I decided to leave it all. I hit a SNY yard. I got tired of being tired and doing nothing with my life while being under nobodies, I changed! For myself, kids, and community. I wanna give hope to everyone going through what I went through as a child growing up! I want to save many lives! I’m tired of all the violence, people killing each other, seeing people be homeless, I regret all the bad I ever did, wasting my life in jail. I wish everything could have been different.
Today I am happy! It feels good not to be part of the gang anymore, feels good to only want to do good. Now, I want to change lives. I want people to respect me, to love me, to know about me from all the good I am doing in the world, from all the lives I am helping because all lives matter! I want to be a famous movie actor, make movies that will change lives, inspire people to do what’s right, to help make the world a better place as well. Because we can all do that! If we all work together.
I would love to bring change to the world and give people hope. I want everyone to be happy, I wish everyone the best! I no longer want to be remembered as a gangster when I die. I want to be remembered as a man! A good man! I wanna leave behind a good legacy! I don’t want to hurt anymore.I want change. I know God put me in this world for a huge reason, to save lives to bring change! Who I am now gives me a peace of mind I am happy with myself. Real real proud of myself, I am confident, determined, focused, happy ,open to change. I thank God that He changed my life and my ways. Thanks be to God! Love him and the world!
Sincerely,
Gonzalo JR Sanchez
BC5117
Calipatria State Prison D-4
