troubled to transforme
By: Irvin Terrell Tatum
at Calipatria State Prison
I got into trouble because of my exposure to trauma in the past—
I hid behind feelings of fear and looked for acceptance from others which is why I wore a mask;
No one really knew me on the inside because my moral compass was broken and my soul was damaged—
I developed antisocial personality disorder and my lifestyle became hard to manage;
Selfishness, greed, lack of empathy, and lack of compassion—
I hopped over the neighbors fence to steal plums from their trees, I didn’t think about asking;
As a kid growing up I appeared to be normal like the other kids to ride their bikes—
I was the devious kid out of the bunch who often times snuck out of the house in the middle of the night;
as I got older I became more audacious with criminal intentions – –
Even though I was raised by Christian values, my mind was in the devil's den with devilish ambitions;
I posed a threat to public safety and was a menace to society – –
my mother told me I know who you really are so you don’t even try to lie to me;
I lied and I lied and my mother cried and cried --
She knew that something was definitely troubling me that I tried to hide;
After years of being a thug and the villain, a supernatural force touched my soul—
I wish God would have saved me sooner, not at 42 years old;
God gave me the rehabilitation recipe that I followed until I regained the moral compunction and sanity—
There’s no greater feeling like being in tune with God and serving a positive purpose for humanity;