Community Impact Statement
As I look back on my past wrongs, no wrong has been less greater than the wrong I done the day of September 23, 1998. I made a conscious decision to arm myself with a loaded gun, while under the influence of methamphetamine. On September 23, 1998 I had no regards for the safety and care of the citizens of San Diego and no amount of concern for the personal property of others in my community.
With criminal intent arrogance and selfishness on September 23, 1998 I entered lucky supermarket in San Diego California willing to steal, commit theft, amounting to robbery, of others properties all the while carrying a concealed loaded gun. Over the years I have beat myself up with shame, guilt, and embarrassment while hiding from the from my peers that I have spent the last 23 years in prison with. A life sentence for stealing lighters candy and soda. Looking back on the wrongs I have done before September 23, 1998 I have come to understand that I have been causing fear, uneasiness, and disregard for civilized people in my community. Today, it is easier for me to put my feet in other people shoes, especially the owner of Lucky supermarket and loss prevention workers who were there that day only trying to do their jobs. I try to understand the shock and fear that must have gone through loss prevention employees Mr. Kevin chessman and Mr. Keith Trujillo, when a gun fell from my waist during my attempted escape and detainment. A nagging sense of shame rises in me as I try to imagine that the loss prevention workers and stand buyers being in fear while watching a man with a loaded gun physically struggle against detainment. A nagging sense of shame rises in me as I try to imagine that the loss prevention workers and bystanders being in fear while watching a man with a loaded gun physically struggled against the detainment, them thinking about what could’ve happened.
Although, I am grateful that the worst did not happen, I am able to empathize and see my crime from others than my view. Besides, aging out of much of the warped beliefs I once had, getting a life sentence, spending 23 years in prison; and decided to change while in prison. I’ve been able to reflect on the wrongs I have even before September 23, 1998.
Through reflection, I have learned how to identify what true remorse feels and looks like, including making amends for the wrongs I have done to my family, friends, and community.
Juan Gonzalez D47703 PO Box 5007D3122 Calipatria, CA 92233