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Raymond Gonzales BG6497

Lessons Learned

What I have learned in my life, is to keep moving forward.

With my life I have had to let the past go. With my hope and my strong faith, it keeps me going! I just don’t give up. With the positive changes in my life, all my goals, I have done all my ARC classes, and all alone in my cell because of COVID-19, now I’m going to level 3 yard. So, I’m doing good, no trouble. No fights. And it feels good. To do good. I see in my future moving toward a new goal, make it to level 2 yard. Next. And get in every class I can get in, to keep me learning more in my life for myself help. I also want it so I can do the work of change. In my life, you have to want it to do it. If you want to change!

I am religious. I have gave my life to Jesus. I need it for a new life. I could not live my old lifestyle no more. It have got me nowhere but trouble. I had let all my gang lifestyle go and drugs too. I have been clean from 6/2014 to now 7/2021. And it feels good, I can be myself. I am in a good mind of thinking to do what is good in life.

I have put myself in school. I did not like school before it was hard for me when I was a kid. It was hard to learn, but today I love to learn. I am a willing to do the work even in self-help. A.V.P. I also do church of the classes. I pray every day in the morning I read the Bible every day I also study the Bible. I asked God to keep me changing and doing what he wants me. To do not in my on understanding.

Well here goes some insight. I open up now days to be a help to others, like I have said, that was a "no no". My old lifestyle you don’t talk about your lifestyle. The gangs life. But that’s not true, so a lot of hurt and pain came from when I was a kid. I have been sexually abused and hit a lot too. That had put me through a lot in my life. I had not let no one get over me again. I had become a gang member and hid deep in drugs for my pain.

I had good things in my life also, mom/dad has been there for me too, but I wanted my gang life more. It became a habit and my belief that was my lifestyle. A cycle that was hard to change, addicted behavior committing crimes.So having that pain in my life and not forgiving others, that hurt me. I would take it out on other people that got mad or were trying to get over me.

I have learned that it was me that had to change. It’s no one‘s fault for me doing bad it was my fault. I have a choice in life to make the crime of choice is not my lifestyle no more. I have become a heart of change. In my life of love, and care to help others to get understanding in life. That we can change our life. There is hope if you want it, but you got to want it and do the work to change.

When I came to a day and said "I need to change my life, I can’t be putting all my family through pain and hurt" before I came to jail for life. It’s not all about myself, it's about the one I hurt too, it’s not right. I had to stop it. It was all so hurtful to me without me seeing it. One day I see I make a change in my life because we don’t have to fight. Once someone gets you mad I have learned to talk it out and make peace. I am a peacemaker.

So, I have learned what was getting me in trouble was me and where my anger came from . So, I learn to fix it with hope, faith, peace, love, forgiveness, and let the past go!

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know so I said do you all God bless

Your man of God,

Raymond Gonzalez