I believe that everybody has an addiction to something, maybe they have found that thing and maybe they haven’t.
How we deal with our addiction is what is most important.
I am someone that is addicted to drugs. I have been sober for a few years now but my drug use was a big part of my life. I let those drugs control me and my actions every day. I have now learned that I will never be done with my addiction. I’ve learned to not give in to my urges or to minimize my triggers. I know that I am more than my addiction.
Addiction in my life has had difficult meanings at different times. I was in denial for years but very much addicted to drugs. I thought I was in control of things but very much so, my addiction was in control. I didn’t know that my life was focused around my addiction. Any plans I made throughout my day, would include time to get high. The first thing I did in the morning when I woke up, if I even went to sleep at all, was to get high. And the last thing that I did at night was to make plans to get high the next day. I didn’t care about anything except to not get caught and I hurt so many people along the way. My addiction, at its worse, was a monster that shames me to this day.
Inside of my addiction, I was lost and in pain. I was really very broken, but didn’t realize it. Getting high was a quick fix to all my problems. The truth of the matter is: that your problems don’t go away until you confront them and deal with them. The reality of my addiction is that every time I get high, I’m only putting a small bandage over a big wound. I didn’t understand how to deal with my problems. I manipulated and made excuses to myself to justify getting high. Life is not easy. I’ve had past traumas. I have insecurities. I doubt myself, I get frustrated. I get sad, confused, angry, offended, and so many other things that don’t go my way, but getting high never fixed anything. It only numbed my negative feelings and pain. I became dependent on the numbness and that distraction from my problems. I was ruining my body, my mind, and my relationships. Inside